5 Ways To Find Friends When You're A Busy Mom
A friend and I were discussing the importance of formulating friendships and having a social life when you're a mom. We both agreed that it's vital to have girlfriends to talk and share life with on a regular basis. Even if you only have one trustworthy acquaintance to bounce ideas off each other, that's enough. It's refreshing when you talk with another mom about tips that work or don't, and if you find someone who's positive and uplifting, that's quite priceless!
Nowadays, texting and social media have become the standard way to get our social needs filled. Also, many moms are too busy to get together with a friend, to grab a coffee, or have a lunch date, so instead she turns to her cellphone.
It's understandable, but it won't fulfill her need for socialization for long. Why? Because cyber communication is empty and isolating compared to actual interaction with a person. You won't ever feel fully satisfied if that's your primary form of socialization - because you're human.
I've learned that the warmth of face-to-face interaction can never be replaced by communication via texts and social media because you miss out on a lot of human cues. Also, I've noticed that a lot more misunderstandings are derived from texts and emails as you miss out on tone and meaning when you do not hear or see the person.
For moms especially, having friendships takes you away for a while from your usual daily grind to de-stress. Each day you're multitasking and seeing to everybody's needs. You get into a rut and begin to feel like a hamster on a wheel. That's why a mom needs to do some things for herself alone - it makes her a better mom! When you set some time aside to meet with a good pal or to enjoy some adult company, it feels sort of like a spa day, and I've noticed that my disposition is much more cheerful afterwards.
From experiencing times where I didn't know a soul due to relocating to a new state, I would feel very isolated. Fortunately, I would rectify this by attending a few nearby social events, visiting our place of worship, volunteering, or setting up playdates with like-minded moms. It may seem tiresome to get your kids ready to meet new people, but if you hear those negative thoughts, just squash it and don't think about it too much.
Social interaction is beneficial for both a mom and her children if you meet the right kind of people. You always learn something from others, no matter who they are or where they are from. Socializing is part of being human, and we go against our nature if we only keep company with ourselves. I know many women who are introverted and find it daunting to socialize - that's why I'm sharing the tips that have helped me to meet new people:
5 Tips To Socialize And Find Friends As A Mom
1. Be Smart But Not Cynical
Be open to meeting new friends but be careful of who you befriend. I've made both good friends and toxic friends, and the latter needs to be avoided at all cost.
I say it with conviction that it is better to be alone than to socialize with toxic people who drain your time and energy. Yet good friends will motivate and uplift you to be better than yourself. It just means you must analyze before forming a relationship with someone new. Know the signs of toxic people and it will help you to become smart without being cynical about everyone.
2. Find a Group
Find an online mom group, homeschool group, or a group of like-minded people sharing similar experiences. Participate in a group that has meetups or playdates and isn't only online. Those will be groups that are unique to your city or surrounding areas.
Most of these groups are selective or request a brief introduction, which gives you some peace of mind. Participating in a group may make you feel uneasy, but after you attend the first meetup it gets more comfortable, and you'll know if it's right for you.
However, don't judge the group by the first meetup, unless something was really off-putting. Go at least twice before you decide, then look for another group to join if it isn't the one. I have met nice people by joining groups as we relocated to different states. It didn't happen at the first meeting either, but after pushing myself to attend a few times.
3. Attend Community Events
Going to your place of worship or attending family events are great ways to meet people too. If you move to a popular area, there is always some event being held throughout the year.
Sign up for updates or look at the activities link on the website of a specific place. Different regions have different events, and each one should have something you'll want to attend. Once again, try to visit a few times before making a decision.
4. Take Part In Something or Pick Up A Hobby
Join a ladies group or participate in a hobby or craft class. Even better, volunteer your time during the evening or on a weekend when hubby is at home to watch the kids. There is always something you can find by calling the local library or a craft store.
Join anything that you would enjoy, and in this way, you might meet some friends who share similar interests with you.
5. Take Initiative
Start your own group if you don't find a group that meets your needs. If you find your group lacking motivation, organize a potluck at a public park, so you're not burdened with any preparation. When you initiate and don't always wait for someone else to begin something, you start to become more popular.
You shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying some social time now and again. It will make you feel happier as a mom and your refreshing attitude will show your family how good it is for you. It doesn't have to be a specific amount of time per month; you can decide what you need and how to work it around your schedule. A mom doesn't need to be enveloped in her household and parenting issues without an outlet of her own.
I have learned that lasting friendships happen when the relationship is give and take, not in the monetary form, but through your time and support. People are also attracted to someone who initiates contact, is reliable, open, honest, kind, and dependable. These are traits that you would hope for and keys to better friendships!